Top 10 Climbing Tattoos That Went Full-Send

Let’s be clear: We aren’t saying we’re fans or not fans. We’re just saying Wow.

By Owen Clarke | August 29th, 2019

The Tib/Fib Chimney

 

It’s not clear what the artist means when he says, “I did the thing the guy is climbing to resemble a foot,” but from the placement and image, it looks like this could be a climber chimneying up the inside of a tibia and fibula. Either way, what the heck is going on with the climber’s arms? This looks more like a rendition of me doing the Egyptian hieroglyphics dance at a middle school party.

 

The Elusive Hunter-Climber

 

I can’t think of a single person who would want this put on their arm. Chuck Norris? Your uncle who “purportedly” made it through 2 days of Navy SEAL training? And…why? Is this a commentary on the usage of natural anchors? Would a stag antler, if properly placed, serve as an adequate camming device? Take it up with the Gear Guy, folks.

 

Trust Fund Climber

 

This way to Everest Base Camp! Just remember your $60k deposit. No, I haven’t actually been, but it’s, like, on my bucket list. The Seven Summits, too. Yeah, I’ve done Kilimanjaro. Or… I’m doing it next year with my dad and his work buddies. It was that or, like, cage diving with sharks. Yeah I spent my gap year in Thailand. Of course I’m top-rope certified. Check my belay card, man. Ever heard of Alex Honnold?

 

Integrated Cam

 

The future of bioengineering is here, ladies and gentlemen. First there were hook hands, then there were wooden hands, now there are cam-hands. Only question is: is free soloing still free soloing? What constitutes aid for this particular cyborg? Surely they could find a better placement. And damn… the carabiner is cross-loaded.

 

Rear Awareness

 

Given the depiction, the hair pattern, and the shape, it looks like this tat might be exactly where it’s supposed to be. As someone who has chronic nerve damage in my ass from spending too much time in a harness, I take this one a bit personally. I guess I just wish I was packing a little bit more cushion down below.

 

 

Loose Biner

 

Looking at this one makes me highly. Where does the rope go? Why is the biner flying around loose? And of all the things to put above it… an Om tattoo?? Gotta get your chakras aligned, I guess.

 

Top-Rope Hangdogger

 

Why carry all those biners for a top-rope hangdogging sesh? Didn’t the bandana die with Dave Foster Wallace? I don’t know… at least the climber looks happy. That’s what it’s all about, right?

 

Equalized Anchors

 

I’ve got neck pain just looking at this.

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#climbingtattoos #realistictattoo

A post shared by Mike Noorlander (@mike_noorlander_tattoos) on

 

Lucky Cam

 

Shit, if only we could read the full quote. “Interconnected in the wreckage of a paradigm on its way out”? And: “We shall rest in the place where there is no darkness” ? What this has to do with camming, beats me.

 

The Third Eye

 

The one you’ve all been waiting for. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the ultimate climbing tattoo. INCLUDED: V16 sending power and unlimited levels of steeze. It’s unclear if this tat made Daniel Woods more powerful, or just more wise, but it certainly hasn’t slowed him down. Riddle me this: If Dan looks down, does it wink? 🤔

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👁 by @savageson 🙏💯

A post shared by Daniel Woods (@dawoods89) on

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Jordan Lee

Owen Clarke, why the hell are you so judgey? There’s nothing wrong with not being literal with your tattoos, but your commentary is straight-up obnoxious.

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